June 18th

Work day. Do not feel like I accomplished anything. I do enjoy seeing patients. I may be ridiculous but all I talk about is exercise and diet. I want to believe it makes a differene, but who knows. I do feel like the patients feel that I am trying to treat them well and that means a lot to me.

Here is a typical, turn the mirror on yourself. There is an echo tech at the hospital, Heidi. She did her externship at TSH and recently finished school. She has been hired part time. She is struggling a bit in the beginning. She does not seem to understand that right now, when she is new she needs to work extra hard to show that she is good. We want to be glad when it is her study, but right now she is kind of nervous and lacks confident (normal). I do not think she realizes this and I think that her inability to see this and act upon it makes her weak.

Well, the same could be said about me. I am not getting many referrals. I am new and it is my job to go out and impress the docs in Stamford and get my own referrals. They need to feel like I am giving them better care than Tom or Jeff. I am not doing that. Just kind of going with the flow.

I wonder what the other docs in Stamford think of me?

Worked on my grand rounds tonight and it felt good. At first I was going to skip the night because I was kind of tired and beat, but then I knew it would make me anxious. So I worked on it and I am glad that I did it.

Nothing to talk about but work.

mood: -2

Exercise, stretch, read, live