June 9th

Work day.  Initial response is to feel like it was a wasted day because it was a work day.  This is my first year with a "real job" after trainig and up until now there was a "high" from having a "real job."  At the end of a work day I felt a sense of accomplishment.  That feeling is fading.

Each day I try to slow down, do things properly, and try and learn along the way, but I always end up rushing and cutting corners.  Just getting through the day.  I will keep on trying to change.

I did read an article about infective endocarditis and syncope therapy that makes me feel good.

Alice made dinner.  3 cup chicken.  salad.  seawweed. kimchi.

Mood score:  -2

A sense of drifting.  What am I working towards?  What are my goals?  Really I am just looking forward to the weekend and then vacation at the end of August.

What makes me happy?  Exercise.  Travel.  Learning.  

Regrets:  Should have done radiology.  Should have had the courage to try something else, but right now I am not sure what that would be.  Something having to do with writing.  Novelist, writer for TV or film.

What I want to do tomorrow:  exercise, read another article and read about diastolic dysfunction

I feel sorry for Tom Nero.  He is fighting with Dick Landesman at work.  He must be under so much stress every moment of every day.  I cannot imagine how things will work out.  Will he have to leave Stamford?  If he is allowed to stay and practice it would be ugly.  Worse for the practice.  I am not sure what Tom wants, but my guess is that he wants to start his own practice in Stamford.  I think he wants me to work with him.  That is why he keeps nudging me to get rid of the non-compete clause.  I would choose Tom over Dick, but Jeff over Tom.  

I have been skimming when I read for so long that I have a very short attention span and little retention of what I read.  Now I am slowing down.  Reading more of the article and I hope, retaining more.

Yoga has helped me so much.  I like the stretching, but the main help has been with my low back.  Good low back stretching has helped with posture and that is helping my overall well being.  Also there is a meditative element that relaxes and relieves stress.